Today I realised how important communication is. open and honest communication that is. Usually I am someone who shies away from BIG HONEST TRUTHFUL conversation, I like to talk about the weather and to make small talk about things…I like talking about opinions and stuff but I dislike talking about my true feelings and affections. Maybe it’s because being in a chinese family, these things don’t come as naturally! When T and I disagree on certain things, or when I am upset, I have a tendency to keep things inside..to be upset quietly and hope that he gets it. When he doesn’t get it (which he seems to think is a natural thing because guys and girls do not have this instant telepathy) I get even more upset but still..I don’t tell him exactly what is bothering me.

This actually makes things very much worse. I’ve tried to open up more and to cut down the “time in between”. “Time in Between” is the time from the start when I’m upset to the time when we can talk about it and then get over it together…I remember once, Pauline shared in cell group that when she is upset, she will just say it out and get it over and done with and that was the best way…I really admired that! As much as I tried though, I couldn’t get myself to do it..I actually don’t know why! Maybe it’s because I just want to be pampered and to be like those girls on tv whose tv-boyfriends just get it and pamper them like crazy.

But communication is actually the best and I learnt my lesson today. It really does save alot of wasted time, effort and moodswings to just say it outright. I think T might appreciates that more as well. I was just flipping through the Bible and in Proverbs 24:26, it says “an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips”..now when T asks me why I’m upset, I will respond with this “kiss on the lips”!

It is still something I have to work on but better now then never.

furlough:

1. a leave of absence from duty granted especially to a solder

pukka:

1. Genuine, authentic

2. Superior, first-class

I always thought this was a word Jaime Oliver made up for his shows and his food. But it is Indian in origin, from Sanskirt and it usually is meant to say: properly done or constructed and genuine.

Yes, I can see how it relates to food now and is not just a random noise that the naked chef makes.