it's just another day now.

for a moment I stared at the title and was trying to figure out what was wrong. I had spelt “beautiful” and “beatiful” but I just could not see the type until…suddenly it just struck me. I’d like to think that my brain is overworked from reading my notes and studying but I think it’s due more to some in explicable fatigue and just this motivation-less mode towards studying/academic self-improvement.

I’m so happy that december is almost here and that christmas is almost here.Cheryn-ann, Patricia and Terence will be back…and there will be no more exams to worry about. the semester will be over and I will have lots of good will and cheer around me to keep my mind off results for this sem. can finally take some time to engage in non-academic-related stuff. catch up with radiopulze, friends, personal projects.

It has been a tough year. It is still a tough-going year but all still is good!

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Just something I wanted to get off my chest…WARNING! Rambling alert!

…Sometimes I reflect back on the old days, just a few years back when things were very much different. Everybody was in it together, we would go for events early in the morning, late at night, weekly, daily, whatever. the thing was that we did it together. As much as the main point of it is personal, there was more feeling to it when you were united with friends and committing to the same cause. Somehow, over the years various issues cropped up and management styles did not work for everybody to the same effect, different people made different choices (myself included)..not everybody agreed with those choices, hurts were exchanged but kept muffled. then now it’s a few years later and it seems that we’ve all got a fresh start–well, we are doing different things. I can understand why people don’t want to come back or find it hard to. Yet, I know why I am still here/there. It is not easy. Sometimes, the place filled with the most love can make you feel the most judged by others. It doesn’t bother me so much now but sometimes, a save of doubt hits me and annoyingly lingers for too long.  Maybe people are too busy? But if you’re too busy to care, then that’s not really caring at all. We are brothers and sisters but we are not friends. Well, I have some friends and I have the Father, and that should be enough. Need to build up core strength so that setbacks and injuries (usually the internal ones) do not hurt so bad and for so long…

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woke up today to a surprise call from T, new media and technology have totally transformed long-distance communication. was feeling stressed ystd over the start of exams, especially with today’s paper but PTL for cell group and the message that jieyun shared. it was great seeing my cell group members again, fellowship and the Word is truly what cell is about and it’s something that I look forward to every week..although my dismal guitar-playing skills need serious improvement. i aim for exponential improvement after exams. heh.

i’m done revising for today’s paper…well, not really. I think you can never feel prepared enough for any exam and there are always doubts and nagging worries of what could have been done, should have been done etc. but at the end of the day, it’s all about just thinking about the questions when you get them and writing out a coherent, well-organized essay, and that’s what I’m aiming for. I don’t think I can carpet-bomb the essay with facts and perhaps that’s not necessary (I agree with eejun on this). just do my best.

there are other papers to think about and prepare for once today’s is over. tuition later at 7pm, then more revision. long day ahead but I’m looking forward to it..powered up by prayer, the Word and coffee. of course.

it’s been cool…cold..cool…sunny the past couple of weeks and I’m glad to report that this weather is going to continue up till January! I am quite psyched. Actually, I am quite psyched about things right now. feeling a little tired from studying and attempts at information absorption but it’s been good so far. Still feeling less than prepared but oh THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO before your brains want to explode and all you want to do is play games on your iPod touch/iPhone for all of you who have one.

stickfu is seriously more fun than I’d originally thought. finished sushi chain ystd as well..

oh yes, studying. heading back to sch in a bit to collect an essay, then continue with hy2237 for tmrw’s paper. exciting ain’t it? exam on a saturday afternoon, have another one next saturday..mmm.

oh and it’s friday! weekend’s almost here -grin-

6 more days till T gets back.

phantasmagoric: characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtapositions

dreamlike: resembling a dream; “night invested the lake with a dreamlike quality”; “as irrational and surreal as a dream”

I thought that the word I wanted to use to describe today and how this whole week has been was “surreal” but I guess not. The weather has been fine, even though it is also been wet. I’m digging the coolness though and the wind and it’s aiding the studying process.

Have been listening to some fantastic music on the ipod so thanks to my bro for the introduction to stars, imogen heap, arctic monkeys, aqualung etc.

Don’t really have much to say right now except that…SIGH, half of reading week is gone and the exams are nearing and T is still in Spain but everything is still great. I had a great time with Christine catching up over copious amounts of coffee (keeping me up till 2+am) and food and studying.Christine has graciously invited me over to study with her again at an undisclosed location that just makes her generosity and her family’s just even more apparent to me. thank you my weird friend!

more studying to be done, but it’s all good.

after reading cp’s blog:…yeah, if it were easy, then everyone would have done it already.

but even though it’s hard, it just means the greater sense of achievement at the end. unless whatever you’re doing is not worth it then..ah-hem* it’s time to do something about it.

In whatever I’m doing now, I still see a purpose and a reason for it. So I’m never gonna give you up..never gonna make you cry….kidding.

I’ve been trying to think of a topic and argument for my last essay of the semester: EN2111’s second essay assignment but somehow, my thoughts are either unoriginal OR have no solid argument to back it up. Hence, I’m stuck.

The weather’s great for staying indoors and reading or even studying and I would really like to do that but instead I have to THINK HARD and brainstorm (with only my brain and no one else ) about this essay! I don’t know why it’s so hard, maybe I’m over-thinking, and maybe my thoughts are obstructed by the bad grade I got for this module before or maybe it’s because I’ve had too much coffee and my system is buzzzzing.

BUTT it’s okay.

I know the essay will get done, and my thoughts just need some organizing. In the meantime, I’m thankful for having some time off ystd to catch up over coffee, and for cell this morning and for the chance to celebrate chris’ 21st later on.

although life’s tough, there are still good times to look forward to!

lately, I’ve been rediscovering the joys of the late afternoon cuppa…gives a really good perk up especially now that it’s needed.

Had the usual tuesday lunch with eejun at the Deck. it really is getting more and more crowded! he too, is battling mind body and essays to go through this semester. he is my friend in taking 6 modules and also my companion in dealing with the unexpected (why why why did we not expect this much work and clashing deadlines??) avalanche of work. Jiayou! ah-hem, we can finally go for the exhibit at the national museum after exams end Good luck for your interview on Monday!

have to finish reading midnight’s children and in the castle of my skin today…am hoping that it will be more enjoyable than it is a chore.